First Session

First sessions are always the easiest. There’s no tough questions. I always have a bit of trouble with the family history. It’s long and complicated and I always worry I forgot something. It’s also a lot of bad to put into an introduction. Yeah, here’s a list of all my faults, nice to meet you too. 

Then it turns to what’s going on now. What happened that lead you to this office? In truth, many years of self-abuse and denial have forced me here. It’s a weird concept that I felt forced to destroy myself. It feels like I’m blaming myself but at the same time I’m defending myself. In fact, I have no idea what part is true. I suspect both. More on that later. 

What’s the biggest problem? The lies. When asked why I did what I did, I really had no answer. No understanding of myself. I felt lost and scared for years and in that moment nothing felt better. Therapy only works when you admit your problems but really hurts when you are completely lost for the why. That’s going to take a while. When I explained this my therapist’s response was that is something he is interested to hear more about but therapy works best when focused on moving forward. It’s important to understand what you did and why but it’s best to put to use to become the person you want to be. To understand the pitfalls that lead you to make the decisions you made and understand how to avoid them. That’ll be a big focus, to never be the person I was again.